Wednesday 14 February 2007

This Week's Thrilling Installment!

Well folks, we thought it was about time to give you an update on how things are going in TDHB house.

Firstly, we had a reply to our ad for management!

We couldn’t believe it when we returned from our weekly shopping trip to find a message blinking in our e-mail inbox!!

It turned out to be from a guy who used to be in the army as a lieutenant or something. He very kindly outlined his vision for “raising band discipline to an acceptable level” by sending us off on a sort of “boot camp”, which would, (according to him) “improve team building and brotherhood within the platoon, er sorry, band.”
He revealed himself to be a fan of “beat combos” such as The Grumbleweeds and The Brighouse and Rastrick Brass Band.
We had a band meeting…
And decided to reply, make our apologies, and turn him down.
Or as Sticks put it: “Fuck that for a game of soldiers.”

Secondly, the phone rang last Sunday, and when it was finally answered feverish excitement rippled through TDHB house as we had been offered a gig on Tuesday night!
It was a support slot for The Violent Vomitters at the Percy Pointer’s Porcelein Night at the charmingly named Douglas Barder’s Legs in Penge.

We arrived at the gig, only to find the venue surrounded by police wearing Kevlar vests and armed to the teeth. Apparently, a local nutter with a violent dislike of the colour green had taken umbridge to the venue’s recent redecoration. After storming the venue with pocketfuls of grenades, wrapped in bullet belts and carrying at least one heavy machine gun, he’d taken the venue manager and bar staff hostage. His demand for the immediate re-decoration of the building (mainly in red if I recall correctly) had been passed on to the brewery.

We decided not to wait for their reply however, made our apologies and left.

Oh well, let’s hope for better news next time! Keep the faith!!
Regards,
TDHB.

2 comments:

Istvanski said...

I hear that there's an open mike spot you could try at The Queen's Minge pub in Norbury. It's a bit of a flea-pit, but the atmosphere's good.

Howesy said...

Do they serve Jack Daniels there? I've always fancied a stiff one in the Queen's Minge.
We'll try that Ister, Cheers.