Interview for post of manager...

Fabulous amounts of excitement in TDHB house! We had an answer to our management ad! Herewith the transcript of the interview, God what a laugh!

DH: “Hello mate, can I call you Nigel? Good. You’ve had a good look round the house and met all the boys, what do you think?”

N: “I see the roll of ‘Band Manager’, (at this point, Nigel used the index fingers of both hands to form ‘quotation marks’, alarm bells started tinkling) as more of a remit. And that remit would be to maximise the interpersonal, organic or if you will ‘natural’, (he used his fingers again, bells now chiming rhythmically) progressive elements of the collective conscience, which forms the greater percentage of the output, performance wise, of ‘The Dave Howes Band Brand’ (eyebrows rising). I would take it upon myself to co-ordinate the multi-layered infrastructures that form the basis of your chosen performance art.”

“I personally benefit from a well developed portfolio of established relationships in many fields of entertainment and the business machinations that they accompany into the multi-faceted areas of ‘showbiz’. (bemused expressions all round), and what is more, I’ve listened and analyzed the current output which you’ve kindly provided me with, and in my ‘humble’ (jesus!) opinion, your writing and orchestrational skills would only benefit from a firm guiding influential pair of hands such as I would bring to the table. I’ll leave you a number of copies of a business plan that I’ve formulated. Please take some time to peruse, ingest and digest this, as I feel it will only serve to re-inforce my aforementioned bullet points. (He was wearing a sickening grin at this point). Okay, I’ll leave you to talk between yourselves and you can call me anytime, ciao ragazzi.”

N leaves in his Audi…

DH: “Well, first impressions?”

JM: “Has he finished?”

IF: “Wanker”

OB-S: (waking up) “Is dinner ready?”

SS: “Scrambled eggs okay?”

DH: “I think that’s a no then.”

The management of TDHB, it was decided, would fall yet again on the shoulders of whoever answered the telephone first.

We will, of course, keep you, our loyal reader, informed.

Love and hugs, TDHB