Monday, 7 January 2008

R.I.P. The Dave Howes Band.

Many of you have been wondering about the continued absence of blog entries from The Dave Howes Band over recent months, and I feel it is about time to catch up.
News isn’t good to be honest as alas the Band is no more.
As our loyal readers will know, the Band’s quest from the very beginning was to get a gig, and a manager. This sounds simple but I’m afraid it was ever far from that in the end. We had trouble with armed hijackers, incensed landlords, power cuts, mix ups over dates and dodgy hypnotists.
A few months ago however, we actually managed to hire a manager! I can’t publish his name for legal reasons, which will become clearer as the story unfolds. Now this manager actually got us a gig at the Pig and Gristle pub on the outskirts of Penge, a Friday night too which is always well attended. Rehearsals had gone well, we’d developed a storming set and were looking forward immensely.
Little did we know, that our new ‘manager’ was actually a lunatic sociopath with a sordid history of violence with a penchant for wiping out musical acts in one fell swoop.
He rigged our instruments and the stage to a massive electrical generator, and set it up so a large electrical current would run through us as soon as we struck the first chord.
At this point, I’d like to pass on my thanks to the one and only Istvanski who, through the loan of a pair of platform soled high-top Converse All-Star in honour of the first gig and momentous occasion thereof, saved my life.
Sadly, Ian, Otto and Jeremy were incinerated immediately, and I was rendered unconscious for a week and a half.
The guilty bastard manager escaped the venue and went on the run for 6 months. He made repeated threats towards me as he had a dislike of ‘leaving any job unfinished’, and I was placed under police protection until his arrest and subsequent incarceration.
So now I’ve no band, and am back to my melancholic solo project, the ‘manager’ is in Broadmoor for the rest of his earthly, and the blog has to be remodelled.
So we wish all our friends the best ever 2008…
Sorry, so I wish all my friends the best ever 2008 and may all your dreams come true!